Talking to Your Child About Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Haitian Parents

Parents today are surrounded by messages about child sexual abuse. But in Haiti, this topic remains deeply taboo, and even for Haitians living in the United States, it can be hard to navigate. Television, talk shows, and online resources warn parents about dangers on the internet, in schools, and even within families.

Yet despite all these warnings, most parents are never told how to talk to their children if they suspect abuse may be happening. For many Haitian families, open conversations between parents and children are not part of the culture, especially on sexual topics, which can feel uncomfortable or even shameful to discuss.

This guide offers practical, culturally mindful steps to help you have this important conversation with your child.

1. Create a Safe and Private Setting

Talk to your child directly, one-on-one.
Do not tell anyone else that you plan to have this conversation.
Choose the right time and place, somewhere your child feels safe and not cornered.
Never ask about possible abuse in front of the person you suspect may be involved.

Remember, you can never be completely sure of who the abuser is. Protect your child’s privacy and safety first.

2. Ask Gentle, Direct Questions

Ask if anyone has touched them in ways that felt wrong or uncomfortable.
Reassure them that it’s okay to tell you and that they will not be in trouble.
Understand that sexual abuse can sometimes feel good physically, so asking if someone “hurt” them might not bring out the truth.

Try phrasing it as, “Has anyone touched you here or here?” and point gently to clarify.

If something specific made you concerned, ask about it calmly. Avoid judgment or shame. Use “I” statements to show care instead of blame.

For example, say, “I’m concerned because I heard you say you’re not allowed to close the bathroom door.”

3. Discuss the Difference Between Secrets and Safety

Explain that some secrets should never be kept, even if someone asks them to promise.
Tell your child that if someone touches them inappropriately or makes them feel uncomfortable, they should tell a trusted adult right away.
Remind them that they are never at fault for telling you the truth.

Haitian children are often raised to respect all adults, which can make it harder for them to speak up. Make sure your child knows that you are on their side and that telling you is always safe.

4. Build Trust and Openness

Let your child know they can always come to you if someone makes them uncomfortable.
Keep your word and make time for them when they do come to you.
Teach them that it’s okay to say “no” to touches or situations that make them feel uneasy.
Reassure them you will never be angry for saying no or setting boundaries.

5. Teach About Privacy and Body Awareness

Explain that some body parts are private and should not be touched, looked at, or shown to others.
Make it clear that if anyone tries, they should tell you immediately and that they will not get in trouble for speaking up.
If your child does disclose inappropriate touching, stay calm. Focus on supporting them, not reacting in anger.

Try to teach your children the importance of personal space. Even in large Haitian families where privacy is limited, help your child learn to bathe and care for themselves early. It reinforces awareness and self-protection.

6. Know the Warning Signs

If you suspect something may be wrong, stay observant. Signs of sexual abuse can include changes in behavior, sleep, appetite, or hygiene, as well as fearfulness, withdrawal, or depression.

Even if your child doesn’t disclose abuse right away, you’re building trust. Each conversation makes it easier for them to come forward in the future.